Creating new life is one of the most beautiful, extraordinary experiences granted to human beings. Few other things on this earth can be deemed as such a miracle as giving birth. This is why we must protect all women at all costs! Because to witness it first hand is a blessing all within itself. The body undergoes so many fascinating changes during pregnancy. Every single solitary day from the time of conception the female body begins altering and morphing and utilizing millions of organisms to begin hosting new life. These changes can’t always be felt on a micro level but on a macro level; Changes that sometimes cause common pregnancy symptoms like nausea, fatigue, dry mouth and mood swings we all know way too well. There are other less spoken about symptoms that happen during pregnancy that I wish I’d known from the start but was surprised to discover. Here are the top 10 things I’m happy to share with you that I learned during my first pregnancy:
1.) There is this impulse to do absolutely nothing which experts refer to as “the nesting instinct”. I suffered from the nesting instinct pretty bad my first pregnancy. Granted we were stuck inside in the early pandemic and I couldn’t do much anyhow. Prior to getting knocked up I would have considered myself a bit of a workaholic, or something rather close to it. But, the second I began having any out of body pregnancy symptoms my brain would literally squirm into bit size pieces and my body would tell me to go lay my ass down. Sounds more like the lazy instinct to me. Even though I spent a lot of that time lounging perusing the internet getting knowledgeable about my pending motherhood journey, and generally prepping the house/nursery for the arrival of the newest member of the family, there was a level of guilt floating over me for not being more proactive. All guilt aside, if there is one piece of advice I can give to you new mommas to be its: take advantage of this wonderful time to do whatever the hell you want! Do not let anyone tell you up from down, because honey, when those pregnancy symptoms kick in only you will know what is best for you and the health of your unborn baby. So, chill if you must.
2.) Your feet will swell. And may never un-swell. That was my story anyway. People kept telling me it was normal and the swelling would go down blah blah. It never did, both feet grew a whole half inch during pregnancy and stayed a whole half inch after delivery. I was pissed lol. Not because my feet now look humungous but because all the beautiful shoes in my collection were no longer viable. I literally had to sell or give away everything! It was so hard for me to process that I didn’t actually start acquiring new shoes until a year after my daughter was born. I was in completely denial just walking around the city in too small of shoes not wanted to believe my feet were going to stay extra large forever. A real tragedy if you ask me. I did a little research to see what actually causes the swelling and according to the internet your body retains far more fluids when your pregnant which can find its way into every crevice of your body. I read another little article that claimed if you ate a diet high in sodium your feet would swell more than usual. I definitely ate a whole box of salt during my pregnancy, damn near. I could not get enough of salty things, so this statement may have some validity to it. Don’t be me. Eat salty things in moderation.
3.) Clumsy will become your middle name. You will run into walls, you will drop things, you will suddenly be walking with two left feet. People will take pity on you, however, because your center of gravity has shifted upward, you are pregnant, already hormonal, sensitive and on edge. The parietal lobe, the part of our brain that controls balance and coordination is making adjustments durning pregnancy, and interpreting new signals related to posture accordingly. These Neural inputs which are associated with posture can be delayed due to the rapid changes happening in our body very quickly. As a response our senses can become slightly delayed. Don’t fret, it does get better… After you give birth your center of gravity does return putting everything back in balance. For me though, I can honestly say I’m still a little bit more clumsy than I ever was before getting pregnant. I’d say I’ve maybe a 90% return to my sharper former self since my baby was born, but that’s being generous. Our brains are no longer dedicated to saving up space for just ME. Babies require a lot, especially newborns. Just be gracious with yourself and learn to laugh things off whenever accidents do happen. They’re usually minor and inconsequential; a spilled cup of milk here, a trip over your own foot there. No biggie, honestly.
4.) The cravings won’t stop immediately after you deliver. You’ll want all your favorite things as your first meal after you deliver. You may want sushi or a burger rare or a charcuterie board with all the cured meats and soft cheeses you couldn’t have while you were pregnant. You may want Eggs Benedict or just ice, some juice and a couple of donuts. No matter what is on the menu you’ll want the things you crave well into months after your baby is born. If you’re breastfeeding, expect those cravings to stay consistent. If I can give you some advice it would be to nurse your body back to health by choosing nurturing, hearty foods that have healing properties and enhance your brains function just as much as junk food. You’re body just went through a lot of changes and needs so much time to heal. Indulge, of course, but learn how to take care of your body with to foods you eat. I don’t mean just salads and vegetables. I mean wholesome cooked stews & soups, healthy fats and proteins. A good mix of all the food groups is key. I personally prefer the southeast asian approach to maternity care. They believe the way you care for yourself after the first 40 days of delivering your baby will shape your health for years to come if not for life. So be mindful and chose wisely.
5.) Nobody cares about your birth plan. They might seem like they do. Someone will take it an be like, “Oh cute. You took the time. you like all these things… cool?!” And then they’ll never reference it again lol. Not to sound dramatic, but I had an exceptional team and they cared about my level of comfort a whole lot. But, when things got going the only concern was for the health of me and my baby. I had my Led candles lit and my soft music playing on my bluetooth, which everyone seemed to love as much I did. I also had some DIY aromatherapy mist I would spray ever so often. No one seemed to mind that either, although I had read some staff members could have sensitivities to scents and to ask before spraying. Other than that everything else on that list was never mentioned or to be seen again. Thank goodness the 24 hours I was in labor went relatively smooth, regardless. This is as great a time as ever to point out the importance of choosing your birth team wisely. The doctor, the nurses the location & hospital staff will all play a critical roll in how well you will feel on your delivery day. If you’re having doubts about any parts of it before the big day arrives, pivot immediately and seek out what it is you’re looking for and feel the most comfortable with. Tour the hospital, hire a private doula/nurse etc. until you feel absolutely seen.
6.) Emotions will arise right before you go into labor. This is perfectly normal. For some women excitement and glee could rush over them. For others it could be concern and fear. Both are totally acceptable sentiments to have. Whichever group you fall under, just know the best thing to do is try to relax. Find ways to bring calm into the room. Breathing exercises really do help. Having a loving partner or family member in the room to aid you in this process also totally helps. If you know your partner is not the type to give back rubs, high fives and hugs, bring your mom or BF or sibling to play that roll for you. Men can’t help themselves in emotionally charged situations so don’t force them to be the caregiver if that’s not their thing. Find an alternative. Some men are great at other things like running errands, grabbing bits left behind in the car, getting food or coffee etc etc. Let them shine there. The most important thing to remember is no one will fault you for setting the rules for yourself. This is your birth story. Let it be written out as close to according to plan as you wish. The one thing you can control are your wishes. Just make sure you’ve got all the tools and people on deck to help make them happen.
7.) Unconditional love might not be the first emotion that arises when you meet your little one. You may in fact just feel a sense of relief the whole ordeal is over. You may feel void of emotions at all. There are a lot of hormonal shifts taking place when you go into labor, especially if you had a c-seciton like I did. Suddenly your uterus is sending signals to the rest of your body it’s no longer pregnant. This in turn can causes all sorts of haywire moments like the shakes, even fainting. Understandably, your emotions take a back seat to all that’s happening to you internally. And that’s totally fine! Give yourself some breathing room to take it all in. I personally just wanted to get off the operating table as quickly as possible and go eat a burger. I was so physically inept the thought of holding my baby overwhelmed me. My partner was there to hand our daughter back to the doctor so they could inspect her some more. What a relief that was! Skin to skin was going to have to wait… it took a few hours for me to come to. And even then I was really just in survival mode. For me and my little one. What was the most important thing I needed to do to keep us both alive?! Nourishing our bodies was top of the list. Love could wait, food was paramount. These feelings really went on for weeks. I didn’t start looking at my daughter with doey eyes until the pain medicine ran dry.
